Surf Blockheads

Last month I opened my mouth and firmly planted both feet tonsil-deep down my throat when I said that the wet season had been and gone in Bali. Here we are now charging our way through March as the skies have all but blackened out any Bali sunshine and the days alternate between overcast and apocalyptic.


Swell wise matters have been entirely different with a handful of mates trooping off in the direction of Balian during the West hitting swell of last week only to return two days later with reports of triple overhead conditions on the river mouths and the word 'heavy' focusing in nearly every mention of the epic conditions up there.

Not having the time to scoot much further than Canggu I was sorely disappointed at the two-foot onshore slop that greeted me during the same westerly swell. About to give up and go home I paid a flying visit down the road to good old spot X and the place was pumping, absolutely ridiculous waves barrelling their nuts off at the mid tide. So good was it (and only four other guys on it) that I barely had the board out of the bag before I was in the drink for a three-hour session. My hastiness was duly rewarded when back on land I discovered that I'd failed to remove wallet from my short's pocket and now had a sodden mass of Rupiah notes and several dysfunctional credit cards to my name…

Still, it was the best surf I had all month and the most expensive of the year thus far.

As the wind re-positioned itself to offshore conditions up on the East I made off in the direction of four foot Keramas past a stupidly crowded Serangan and overlooked what has probably been the wave of the month up at Sanur Secrets (Padang Galak to everyone else). Here's a spot that rarely fires but the rains have obviously aligned the sandbanks to perfection setting up an awe-inspiring A-frame. Needless to say this didn't take long to attract the attention of the marauding Sanur contingent and a smattering of Japanese tourists.

Reports in from various sources suggest that some backhanded, below-belt behaviour has cursed not only Padang Galak but also Hyatt Reef and Keramas itself. Turns out the Japanese have been up to their old tricks paying off the Sanur crew to block waves and totally screwing up everyone else's session. I saw it last year at Shipwrecks and it bugs the shit out of me. Guys, if you can't get the wave off your own back then don't paddle out, local crew, give it up – it's shameful behaviour and totally against the nature of surfing. You might be lining your pockets with some extra coin but frankly your reps are in the dust with these kinds of stunts.

Still, there's not much you can do about it really, just another nail in the coffin of Bali's surfing reputation but in a way it has a positive impact inspiring other folk to move away from the 'name' spots and search out a few shacks of their own, far off the grid.

More rain came and went and Canggu started to show some temporary form with local rippers pulling huge punts off the lips on the left in front of Echo Beach. The main peak didn't really light up thanks to the swell direction and transitive sands that have shifted all over the place on the beach. Last time I checked (yesterday morning) the banks were still all over the shop and will probably remain the same until the off shores really start to kick in, hopefully soon.


Sick move of the month has to go to Rusty's Marlon Gerber for his suicidal air at Keramas, quite whether the lad made the landing is another matter entirely but it's possibly the most stylish rail grab I've ever seen.

Checking back in on the shore breaks on the East coast I came across two little rippers tearing chunks out of the innocent Galak lips. Honestly, if I could've surfed like this at age nine then maybe I wouldn't have such a hard time hauling my fat ass into the line-up nowadays. Or is the snorkel and mask the secret weapons these groms are packing nowadays..?

It's a trip to the Gilis on the cards for this month's getaway and some recon down the reefs of Nusa Dua for me. Gotta make the most of the offshore East before the lefts start doing their thing on the West coast…

Enjoy it guys, slag the blockheads if you catch them pulling sly moves and keep smiling – there's still good vibes to be found in the Bali waves, they're just getting few and far between.